Giving Away
Diamond - Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere.
Ten-Gallon Hat - A hat perfect for wearing in a western - or on stage singing country music. Yeehaw!
Parkour 101 (x2) - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment.
Pin-Up Calendar? - A calendar for the year 2015, featuring lurid pictures of… wait, no, those are just normal janitors in full coveralls standing in exotic locations.
Black Lotus - Oh man, this is like the most expensive trading card in the… hang on now, it’s counterfeit! What a ripoff!
Free Trial Disc (x2) - A CD advertising 2000 hours of free internet. Man, these sure have gotten desperate, huh?
Air Tank - A tank of air suitable for diving. It would be a great help towards getting out of here… if you had a door, and if it weren’t empty.
Matryoshka Dolls - A series of intricately painted nesting dolls, meant for display rather than as a toy for children. At the center there’s… a stick of gum?
Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
Trust Exercises and You! (x2) - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
Punk Jeans - A pair of black skinny jeans torn and safety pinned back together so thoroughly, you’re not sure how much of the fabric is left. But hey, they fit!
Do-It-Yourself Mime Kit - A very fancy makeup kit! All in shades of white and black. If being a mime isn’t your thing, it might Miraculously help you fit in with a different group of people…
Bible+ - A copy of the Bible! Hang on, there’s an extra section at the back… why is there another copy of the Bible but with the pages mirrored in here?
Keeping
Lion: A giant pink lion with no magical properties whatsoever. He doesn't come in a Pokeball or anything, so good luck with that.
Rose's Shield: a pink shield with a spiraling thorn-and-vines motif. But it seems like it's a plastic replica?
“Extra-Large Spice Grinder” - It’s. It’s just a full-on Medieval-style mace.
FRESH GRASS: It's just a big clump of grass with some soil attached to it, as if pulled straight from the earth.
“Social Distancing Device” - A six-foot-long staff, with a pointed blade at the end. Yep, it’s a spear! Has all the powers of a spear, too. Like stabbing.
“Landscaping Aid” (x2) - It’s just a really big rock. Man, if one of you used this to kill someone else here at the bottom of the ocean… that’d be fucked up, huh?
Parkour 101 - A handbook on how to do all kinds of sick jumps and flips and things that cool kids did in whatever year it was when parkour was hilariously big. Would probably be more useful outside of your current environment.
Life-Sized Stuffed Penguin - A stuffed penguin about a foot and a half tall. Looks almost real, but is almost unbelievably soft.
Trust Exercises and You! - A thorough guide to conducting, coordinating, and adjudicating exercises from the classic trust fall to the more advanced. Be the self-made king of your workplace and transmit all your good vibes with this book from wordsmith and morale expert… the name seems to have been blacked out?
9999 in 1 Game Device - A handheld device for playing retro games! There’s actually only about twenty, they just repeat in the menu until they reach 9999. Also they all suck.
Velvet Cape - A full velvet cape, perfect for swishing around and pretending you’re either an old-timey aristocrat or a vampire. Also useful if you wanna get a LARP started in here.
Non-Descript Golden Man Award - A gold statue of a blank man, sized to be held in one hand! A sign on the bottom says it’s for… Best Grandma? Unfortunately it’s not even made out of gold, it’s just gold-painted bronze.
Tea Variety Pack (x2) - An assortment of different teas, mostly green tea blends. If you find one you like, better hope another one of these drops, because there’s only one of each in here!
Totem of the Hunt - It looks like it was of some sort of significance, but what is this supposed to be?
Mic stand: A mic stand decorated with spikes. Careful, you could kill a man with that thing! So maybe don’t swing it around too much.
Makeup Kit: A small makeup bag containing foundation, powder, mascara, lipstick, and eyeliner. The foundation and powder are both the palest shade in production.
“Letter Opener” (x3) - A serrated combat knife that wouldn’t be out of place trying to survive in the wilderness.
Gingerbread House (x2) - A whole elegantly designed gingerbread house with all kinds of candy accents.
Bathrobe - A cheap deep red bathrobe, for when you want to look classy in your study but you just aren’t the kind of person with money for things like “a study” or “books” or “quality fabric.”
Nisse (x2) - A stuffed friend for the holidays, or really any other time of the year - Gaze upon it, love it, take it home.
“Letter Opener (Deluxe)” - A full-on sword with a cool jet-black blade. Comes in a sheath, thankfully.
Toy Laser Sword - A toy sword handle with a collapsible blade in one of several different colors! Not affiliated with any existing multimedia franchise.
Bootleg Bear Plush - A plush of some strange bear that’s black on its right side and white on its left, with one poorly-stitched red eye. Who is he? Why is he here? He has a terrible aura...
Wizard Hat - A big pointy blue and silver hat! For commanding mystical energies, or maybe just looking like a dork.
Gone
Freeze-Dried Ice Cream (x2) - Pretend you’re an astronaut! Only available in vanilla, but there's an ad on the back for other flavors.
Blobfish Kigurumi - No one asked for this. No one needed to bring this into the world.
Box of Chocolates - Wow, it’s just like life! Careful not to grab the one that just kinda tastes like it’s full of shampoo.
Homemade Lunch - Dumplings, spring rolls, and chili shrimp packed in a plain lunchbox. It's been prepared with some amount of care, if the taste is any indication.
Diamond - Literally just a raw diamond, about the size of a pea, that looks freshly dug up from somewhere (given to Therion)
Mango - A relatively high-quality mango, which might be surprising the longer into this whole thing you get one out of the machine. You could make a religion out of this.
Water Bottle - A bottle of delicious spring water. Refreshing!
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